Your Hollywood Matchmaker Suggestions of the Week – Milla Jovovich and Sharon Stone

Friday, 11 September 2009
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Milla Jovovich - Zombie KillerIf you are the type of person who dreams of winning over Hollywood vixen actress, Milla Jovovich; I believe I have figured out the quickest route to make it happen and it all involves sea kayaks.

The Resident Evil star recently gave an interview where she said, “I get a thrill out of doing dangerous stunts. In [the movie] 'A Perfect Getaway' I have to steer a kayak close to sharp rocks, miles off the coast of Puerto Rico. It's dangerous - there's a very high tide and if my boat tips over I'll go face-first on to the rocks.”

It’s obvious she has a thing for sea kayakers doing their risky thing out on the water so here’s the plan. The Toronto International Film Festival is opening today and Milla is supposed to be there. Get your butt and kayak here to Toronto pronto and make your way over to the red carpet. I’m pretty sure that when she sees you and all of your gear standing there on the sidewalk the sparks will fly right away.

If you want to try to seal the deal like a pro, stop by a local paddling shop first and rent a two person kayak. That way you and Milla can leave directly from the red carpet and head straight to the water.

Remember to send me an invite to your wedding.

But you might be asking yourself? I’m not a fan of Ms. Jovovich as she attracts too many zombies. Don’t fret; your celebrity match maker is still here to help.

Sharon Stone KayakingSharon Stone was recently spotted “flaunting her curves” (as the article said) while paddling a kayak off the back of her yacht in Sardinia, Italy.

Here is my match making plan, same as Milla but a slightly different angle. Show up near the yacht with a shirt with big writing on it, “I’m a kayak instructor”. Looking at the photo, it’s clear that she is in some desperate need of some forward stroke instruction.

It’s guaranteed to work and again, don’t forget to send me a wedding invitation. I’m also happy to make a quick toast reminding your guests the whole thing came together because of my idea.

Update: Sorry kids, Milla got married just got married. Sorry for the Friday downer...

David Johnston

David Johnston

David Johnston has been introducing people to the sport of sea kayaking for the past 15 years. He is a senior instructor trainer with Paddle Canada and teaches for several paddling schools in Ontario, Canada. Full Bio.

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