Why do PFD’s have such bad names?

Monday, 06 April 2009
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Old Lifejacket
  • Orbit
  • Source
  • BetSEA
  • Ebb
  • Riverine
  • PFDiva
  • Cruiser
  • Kitty
  • Eureka
These are just a few of the terrible names that manufactures have given their PFD models over the years. Out of the list above, I think that the BetSEA and PFDiva are the best names and that's purely for the witty factor. Even then, they barely make the grade in my humble opinion.

It's high time that companies stop being so conservative in their naming and work to make PFD's cooler through product names, design tweaks or graphics.

My dream is to find a manufacture who will take the plunge and develop a line of PFD's named after Klingon warships or Characters from the TV show, Growing Pains.

On second thought, naming your PFD after Josh Andrew Koenig's character, Boner might not make it a hot seller so scrap that plan.

Take this Ninja and turn it into a PFD.
Take this Ninja and turn it into a PFD.
Here are a couple of names and features that companies need to get on pronto!
  • The Ninja. It comes with a small pocket for a plastic throwing star.
  • The Bandito. It comes with a sewn on bullet pattern across the chest and back. Nothing tougher on the water then The Bandito.
  • The Captain - It would be modeled after the Star Trek NG uniforms with an integrated VHF radio/ Star Trek communicator. Proper ranking information shoulder straps will be very important. Companies, refer to this Wikipidia page so you don't get embarrassed. Remember, it could be bad if you get it wrong!
  • @campingblogger suggested the iBob. It would have an intergraded mp3 player and accelerometer which would play different music depending on the speed you were traveling. Another great feature of this vest would be that it would automatically play your choice of one of three songs when it gets wet: Going Under by Evanescence, Drowning by Backstreet Boys or Drowning Man by U2. Think of this feature as a lifesaver pick-me-up.
  • @derrickquix suggested naming one the Jedi or the Sith. Both would be the same model but the second one would be all in black. Every time you took a stroke, it would make nerdy sound effects.

Have you got a better idea? I'm sure you do, post your fantasy name and key feature below in the comments.

GI Joe Ninja Photo Credit: kingstoys.blogspot.com



David Johnston

David Johnston

David Johnston has been introducing people to the sport of sea kayaking for the past 15 years. He is a senior instructor trainer with Paddle Canada and teaches for several paddling schools in Ontario, Canada. Full Bio.

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