Victorniox finally enables you to smell like your knife [Outdoor Perfume]

Friday, 10 September 2010

Victorinox Swiss Army for Her

My life dreams have almost come true as I just found out that Victorinox has developed and is selling fragrances. Yep, the knife people are working hard to put out practical products and have finally stumbled upon solving the problem of smelly campers. Thank the good Lord as I was just about to give up camping for good due to the campsite stink.

How do they smell you ask? Here is my chart to help you make your decision faster:


Fragrance Name Probably Smells Like
Victorinox Swiss Army Classic
Cold steel or knife lubricant (mineral oil).
Victorinox Swiss Army Altitude
Moss on a rock.
Victorinox Swiss Army Mountain Water
Either absolutely nothing or more likely seaweed.

I really think they missed the mark though. Like that classic Seinfeld episode where Kramer invented perfume that smelled like the beach, nobody really wants to smell like water or cold steel, they want to smell like pine trees, campfire smell and musty tents.

Let’s get on that Victorinox; I want to see Victorinox Swiss Army Eau de Pine Needles on the shelves by spring!

More info:

David Johnston

David Johnston

David Johnston has been introducing people to the sport of sea kayaking for the past 15 years. He is a senior instructor trainer with Paddle Canada and teaches for several paddling schools in Ontario, Canada. Full Bio.

Strategic partner

Paddle Canada Logo