Did you know it's possible to navigate your way to every single NFL stadium in the US by kayak?

It's true. A couple of days ago Reddit user, /Bhockzer posted the routes to every single one. And while he did have to be "navigationally creative" for a couple, it's possible to paddle to your next big game even if it's via a storm creek.

Heinz Field via Google Maps

Here is part of the full post:

Take St. Lawrence Seaway to access the Atlantic Ocean from the Great Lakes. Be on the lookout for sea monsters, vikings, wayward Pilgrims, and Explorers.

  • Gillette Stadium (NE) > Neponset River > Atlantic Ocean
  • MetLife Stadium (Jets & Giants) > Upper Bay > Newark Bay > Hudson River > Atlantic Ocean
  • Lincoln Financial Field (Eagles) > Delaware River > Atlantic Ocean
  • M & T Bank Stadium (Bal.) > Chesapeake Bay > Atlantic Ocean
  • FedEx Field (Wash.) > Cattail Branch > Beaverdam Creek > Anacostia River > Potomac River > Atlantic Ocean
  • Everbank Field (Jax) > St. Johns River > Atlantic Ocean
  • SunLife Stadium (Miami) > Royal Glades Canal > Atlantic Ocean
  • Bank of America Stadium (Panthers) > Irwin Creek > Sugar Creek > Catawabe River > Fishing Creek Lake > Wateree Lake > Wateree River > Lake Marion > Lake Moultrie > Cooper River > Charleston Harbon > Atlantic Ocean
Photo credit: Heinz Field HDR | Flickr by Jacob Caddy Attribution-NonCommercial 2.0 Generic / CC BY-NC 2.0
Published in General News
Tuesday, 07 October 2014 00:00

Need Kayak Now? Build one out of Chip Bags

For years I now I've been wondering (and I know you have to) just how many bags of unopened chips would it take to keep me afloat and take me on an adventure.

Well some Korean students decided to tackle that last great life mystery and discovered that if you tape together 160 bags of chips into a kayak, you and your buddy can paddle off into the sunset and international fame.

chip bag kayak

More info: wsj.com

Published in Funny
Wednesday, 10 September 2014 00:00

Weird Kayak Inventions We Are Better Off Without

Looking through the online Google's collection of patents turns up no shortage of weird kayaking related inventions.

Here is a quick round-up:

The paddlebow

The Paddlebow

Like kayaking? Like bow hunting? Why on earth would you ever consider looking at them as two different sports when you can combine them for a way better paddling/hunting experience.

This little invention allows you to clip on a trusty crossbow to the shaft of your kayak paddle allowing you…to…well, let's let the patent description do the talking:

The Paddlebow is a bow which can be easily mounted on the shaft of a paddle and used to shoot arrows. The bow is mounted to a paddle shaft by way of a clamp system.

The Paddlebow allows its users to shift from the action of paddling their kayak to the action of shooting an arrow in a quick and comfortable manor.

All I want to know is how the inventor expects you to comfortably paddle with a giant crossbow on the paddle. Also with the weight all forward of the paddle, it would just keep falling down hitting the deck of your kayak as you paddled.

The patent was issued in 2010 so maybe it just hasn't hit the market yet.

 

The heated kayak paddle shaft.

Heated kayak canoe paddle shaft

From the patent description:

Patent Description The heated paddle shaft is a heating device integrated into the shaft of a kayak or canoe paddle. The pads are placed on the shaft to keep the operators hands warm. A rechargeable lithium ionized battery source is the charge for these pads.

Maybe it's just me but I certainly don't paddle enough that I thought, “wow, a heated paddleshaft would come in handy right now.”

In 2010 the US patent office issued this idea.

 

The Kayak Rack

Kayak deck rack assembly

Here is an idea! Let's add luggage rails to the back deck of your kayak effectively making it impossible that you will ever be able to get up on the back deck if you need to be rescued. Also, let's stack as much junk on top of your boat and make it as top-heavy as possible.

Not sure why it hasn't taken off since the patent was issued back in 1993.

 

The paddle mirror invention.

Kayak paddle with safety mirror

So this inventor clearly hated looking behind him and felt that there were huge crowds of people who also only wanted to look at their friends via a mirror and felt there was some sort of market for this.

It's exactly what you think it is. A mirror that attaches to your paddle so you don't need to turn your neck.

The patent description is priceless:

A major problem in kayaking is that the user must normally turn the kayak to some extent in order to view the area behind the user, which turning is difficult and time consuming, and also very dangerous in white water kayaking conditions. Also, a busy kayak user must generally keep both hands on the kayak paddle for control of the craft, which is quite tipsy in the water.

 

kayak breakaway hatch

Breakaway kayak cockpit and method

Ok, here is one invention that is an interesting idea but there some real world design flaws with it.

The idea with the breakaway cockpit is that if you are kayaking and get stuck in your boat that you could push up and against the front of the cockpit, the panel would release giving you lots of room to escape.

The problem with it is that the deck of the kayak would lose a lot of structural integrity epically in a small whitewater kayak where having the deck of the kayak implode is a realistic scenario. That's why they put those vertical foam pillars down the length of the boat.

Also, it looks like the breakaway panel and by what I can read in the description, the coaming itself is held in place by rubber gasket. That might keep things together while the kayak is on the shop floor but the stresses on these areas of the boat are considerably greater than what a little gasket can stand up against. I'm pretty sure that the whole system would just fall apart.

Looks like the idea never really panned out as a patent was filed way back in 1985.

 

The Kayak airway system

Emergency air system for kayaks

This seems like an interesting concept in principle but wow, look at the huge number of parts making the simple idea of a breathing tube for whitewater kayaks overly complicated.

I like how the inventor has added a snorkel mouthpiece to make breathing more comfortable (like you are going to be using it all the time).

The inventor got his patent back in 2004.

 

Published in Funny

Here is a tip to all you would-be kayak thieves out there. If you steal a hand-made wooden kayak, don't offer to sell it back to the owner when they approach you at your local beach.

The Bellingham Herald has the full story:

The kayak was stolen some time overnight July 7 from the roof of the [Washington state] victim's vehicle. The woman reported it missing July 8 and told police the kayak had wooden inlay all over it [similar to the kayak pictured above].

Then on July 27, the owner was at Howard Amon Park in Richland putting people into kayaks when she saw her own kayak on the water.

The woman reported that Luke paddled up to the beach and offered to let her buy the kayak, court documents said. She identified the kayak as belonging to her, then asked someone to call Richland police.

When officers arrived, she showed them a picture of the stolen kayak which matched the one that Luke was trying to sell, documents said.

He claimed he had seen the kayak earlier on top of a car and wanted it, so he told a man named "Nick" to steal it for him and in exchange Nick would get a bicycle from Luke.

Photo credit: Creative Commons licensed (BY) flickr photo by dwstucke: http://flickr.com/photos/dwstucke/163371145

Published in General News

Found this in the Guardian today:

An artist in Japan, who works under the pseudonym Rokudenashiko – which roughly translates as "good-for-nothing girl" – was arrested after emailing the data to 30 people who had answered a crowd-funding request for her recent artistic venture: a kayak inspired on her own genitalia she calls "pussy boat", according to Brian Ashcraft at the gaming website Kotaku.

More info.

Published in Weird

Well it looks like Heisenberg is still sorting out some distribution issues.

Australian police discovered a shipment of methamphetamine worth approximately $163 million (US) this week. What makes this slightly unique is that they found the nearly 400 pound haul stuffed in amongst a shipment of kayaks coming out of China. 19 of the 27 kayaks in the in the shipping container was filled with meth.

Published in General News
Tuesday, 04 February 2014 15:07

Terrible Word Search: Kayak

Looking for a challenge today? Find the kayak in the word search above. Here is a hint; the word appears only once.

The idea for this comes from Charles Lohr who decided to see how hard it would be for a computer to build a word search based on only the letters you gave it.

I wrote a program that creates them in C. It took about 30 minutes. It simply produces letters from a list of letters I provide it, and checks to make sure that the word in the search does not show up. If that word does show up, it starts rewriting some letters. Eventually, it creates a wordsearch without the word that you're searching for.

More info: cnlohr.blogspot.ca/2014/02/to-make-terrible-wordsearches.html

Published in General News
Friday, 25 October 2013 12:14

Look Who is Kayaking Now: Kate Moss

 

Super model and celebrity dater, Kate Moss was on a family vacation in Jamaica recently and spotted out kayaking. From the photo evidence she has the all important, lean-back technique down like a pro.

I'm not 100% positive but I believe she is paddling an Emotion Temptation sit-on-top kayak.

Photo Credit: INFPhoto.com

 

Published in People
Tuesday, 10 September 2013 22:20

Thief Uses a Kayak to Help Steal a Safe

Over the years we have covered several examples of shady people using kayaks for shady purposes including using their kayak as a drug mule, a get-away vehicle, a transportation method for border jumpers or a method to fake your death for insurance fraud.

What could be a first for kayak related travel; deputies in Wahpeton, North Dakota believe that a kayak played a key role in helping a burglar steal a safe on from the local bar.

It seems that the thief used a stolen kayak to help float the safe across the local lake to his waiting car.

The article doesn't make any mention to the size of the safe but our crack investigation team put together this artist's representation of how it could have looked from shore. Thank goodness the thief had the foresight to wear a lifejacket.

More info: kfgo.com
Flickr photo credit: Michigan Sea Grant

 

Published in General News

This is easily the craziest story I've read so far this September.

A young New Zealander who the press is only identifying as Ryan got trapped on Governor Island in the north end of Western Australia for two (yes two) full weeks because a six-meter (20 feet) salt water crocodile would stalk him every time he tried to make a break from the island. Yes, two weeks…

Luckily when he was originally dropped off he had lots of water and food since his original plans were to explore the island for a short while then paddle back to the mainland. Once he discovered the giant monster stalking him the situation changed.

He was finally rescued by Don McLeod who was passing the island on a fishing trip and found Ryan with no food and only 1 liter of water left.

Mr. McLeod told ABC Radio yesterday: "I saw a flash in the scrub. I went across and Ryan came out looking a bit distraught. He came down the beach. He said he'd been there a fortnight and he came to the conclusion very quickly that he couldn't get off there without attracting this crocodile.

"He was relieved and shocked, and thankful someone had come along."

Mr. McLeod went on: "He said every time he got in his little kayak, this crocodile – who has lived there for many years and is a monster – has chased him.

"That croc is a very, very big crocodile. One of the biggest I know of around here and it followed him around for a while. So Ryan headed back to get under cover and left his kayak up on the rocks about two kilometres from where his camp was.

"I've seen that crocodile come past me quite fast a few times," Mr. McLeod said. "My boat's 20-foot long, so I know he's well up towards the 20ft mark."

More info: scotsman.com

Flickr Creative Commons photo credit: BMaco

Published in General News
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