I was directed to this fantastic video. Probably not the safest or most efficient method to get up the river but pretty funny indeed.
As one person put in the comments box on youtube, "Excavator on a barge, that's a paddlin!".
David Johnston has been introducing people to the sport of sea kayaking for the past 15 years. He is a senior instructor trainer with Paddle Canada and teaches for several paddling schools in Ontario, Canada. Full Bio.